Dealing With Confrontation

Work on Creating a Rapport

Introduce yourself to the coaches before the game begins.

When dealing with emotional coaches remember to:

• Be in control and speak in a calm, easy voice
• Maintain positive body language and keep space between you and the Coach/Player
• Make eye contact with the coach/player when the situation allows

Answer questions not Statements

• 3 Seconds!
• That is a Travel!
• That is a Hold!

Be a Responder Not an Initiator

Deal with the behaviour before answering any Questions

Roadblocks to Communication

• Ordering
• Directing
• Commanding
• Yelling
• "If you do that again I'll 'T' YOU UP"
• Warning, Threatening

Tips to being a good listener

• Do not Interrupt
• Try to be Relaxed
• Keep good Eye Contact

A coach knows the tone of the response even before you start speaking by observing your body language. Sometimes we lose them before we even say a word.

If you make a face, raise your hands in defense or scowl, you've probably lost them already. Watch how you talk with your hands and don't let a coach use his hands to talk to you.

When a person talks with his hands it appears there is more going on than a simple discussion about a simple play. If you see a coach waving his hands, simply ask him to put his hands down before you are ready to listen to his message.

Tips to Being a Good Listener

• Avoid the conflict (Don't create it)
• Address the problem only (No emotions)
• Don't be Defensive, or try to justify your Actions

Officiating is not about the referee being the only Winner...

• Nor is it about the referee being the only Loser,
• A balance between the TWO Extremes needs to be Achieved
• You do not always have to get in the Last Word

Answers to Coaches

• "Okay Coach I hear you"
• "From my angle that is how I saw it"
• "I will watch for that"
• It will not help matters if you tell the coach that it is not happening

Some Other Phrases That Can Be Used Are

• "I see your point"
• "You have a good point"
• "I've heard you"
• "That's possible"

By listening first and then responding to what they said, there may be some closure after your words.

If a coach is yelling or shouting at you tell the coach you would be glad to talk to him but he has to lower his or her voice and then you can address the issue.

Remember, 90% of conflict occurs not with what was said but by the TONE it was said in!

TAKE YOUR GAME MANAGEMENT TO A NEW LEVEL